The kids are all right

A few weeks ago, our son went to this leadership conference. When the kids arrived, they were split into groups. At the parent reception at the end of the weekend, a representative from each group stood up and talked about some of the things they’d learned and done. One girl talked about how embarrassment is a social construct (and all the kids in the audience snapped).

It took me years to learn this lesson. It took, maybe, buying the bookstore. My first days, weeks, months on the job, I gave myself so many pep talks, telling myself to ask the stupid questions. I forced myself not to care what people thought of me for whatever idiotic thing I asked about. And it was never bad! No one ever said, wow, how do you not know that? Instead of pretending to know what someone was talking about during a conversation, I would stop them say, back up, what does that mean? And the person told me! And probably felt flattered for knowing something I didn’t and being able to explain it to me.

I’ve been thinking about this because I said something potentially stupid to a customer in the shop the other day. I keep rehashing the conversation in my head, wondering what she thinks of me. She probably doesn’t think of me at all, or this particular, totally banal conversation. I have so many random conversations each day. Retail is constant small talk. And small talk means I’m not always thinking things through, things just pop out of my mouth, sometimes I’m just looking for something to say. So this is a reminder I need often: Embarrassment is a social construct!