On not taking it personally

A few days ago, MS was at the register checking out a woman and I was standing close because MS is still new and occasionally needs help. This woman was buying a little Jellycat bag charm and she asked MS if she could place it in a little bag with some tissue. Mary Stuart wrapped the Jellycat in tissue and placed it in the bag and handed it over. Then she waited expectantly for her credit card.

The woman took the bag, removed the item, and unwrapped it. She placed the Jellycat back in the bag, then took the tissue, unfolded it, pinched it in the middle, fluffed it out, and placed it on top of the Jellycat. It looked nicer, sure. MS and I just stood there watching the whole time. We were waiting for her to pay. The air of the woman, the way she did this, the way she just was, it all just felt incredibly . . . rude. She had been know-it-all-y and condescending throughout her visit. This was just the icing on the cake.

The woman looked up and saw MS waiting on her, looking a little sad, a little disappointed, who politely asked for her credit card (again). I was sad too. There was nothing to be said in the moment. Sometimes we’re just disappointed in people. As much as I want to protect my employees, I can’t shield them from every bad behavior.

The woman said, “You see how I did that?” like she was doing MS a favor. 

After she left, I told MS, “We don’t take anything personally in the bookstore.”

“Oh, I know,” MS said, but knowing it and experiencing it are two different things.

It doesn’t matter how much we know. Of course we know. It still doesn’t feel very good.